No Balloon For You

Anna had a nightmare at 3:30 am that left me up until almost 5:00 because I couldn't go back to sleep. She was really traumatized from that safe spot issue at lunch yesterday. She was so heartbroken that it made me really sad. And a little angry because now I'm losing sleep over this.

I called her teacher on my way to work this morning but she was in a meeting so I left a message. I almost couldn't get through the message without crying. I am just so sad for her. This morning she asked me to come to lunch with her but I told her I couldn't because I have to work.

Her teacher called me back while I was then in a meeting and said neither she nor the student teacher knew she had been in the safe spot (sounded like it was something they were supposed to know) and she could tell I was upset and said I could call and have her paged and she would talk to me. I had meetings all day though and didn't get her called back until school was out and she wasn't there.

Then I remembered that the book fair was tonight and Anna has been asking to go all week so I thought I might see her there. So I picked up the kids and we headed to the book fair. We bought 7 books and I paid. Then I asked where the balloon guy was and they pointed and I asked if it costs money and they said you have to buy a book for the classroom and then you get a ticket. Then they gave me a raffle ticket where we actually won a ticket to see the balloon guy. But that was only one ticket and I have two kids. Dilemma. The line was so long to checkout I didn't want to wait to buy another book just for that.

So we headed to check out the balloon guy but the line was kind of long and we needed to go eat dinner. I told them we could come back after dinner.

So we did. And we started by buying another book (much shorter line) to get another ticket to see the balloon guy.

Then we started waiting for the balloon guy. He was there until 8 and it was 7:30 but we were told that he wasn't taking any more kids because he wouldn't have time. I hoped that the line would move quickly and maybe we could still get in by 8. But it didn't work out that way. The lady in charge of the balloon guy kept telling me that the kid directy in front of my kids was the last kid who would get a balloon. That kid was her kid. How convenient for her. I told her we drove all the way back up here AND bought a book JUST for this. Of course she had no idea my daughter had a traumatic day at school yesterday and cried for 30 minutes and had a nightmare and I'm just trying to have a positive school experience for her here.

I noticed the lady in charge of the balloon guy was standing by the teacher who put Anna in the safe spot yesterday. I asked her kid if that was his dad because I thought well maybe the two mean people are married to each other. But he said no.

We didn't get a balloon after waiting 30 minutes. I picked up a business card for the balloon guy and told her maybe he could come to her birthday party or maybe our company picnic this summer. The kids impressively did not cry like the others who were turned away. I really thought Carter would have one of his meltdowns like he did at the dentist's office and things would really get scary. But we all left holding hands and no tears. My BFF was kind enough to sit at an elementary book fair with me for 30 minutes while my kids waited to not get a balloon :)

They watched Mary Poppins in the car on the way home and we all sang Super-Cali-Fragil-istic on the way home.

I did get to see her teacher and we chatted briefly that Anna had a really good day yesterday and today. I let her know that she was really affected by whatever happened and I could tell she really cared. She asked me how her reading was going and said she has her reading some really advanced books. That all sounded good!

It is the weekend and I'm hoping to spend some good quality time with Anna (and Carter). And I think I need some more sleep to make me less emotional so I'm pretty sure a nap is in my future.

Mean Lunch Man

Anna is a little emotional. Tonight I told her "just cry it out. sometimes you feel better if you just cry." and she did. hopefully it is all out and tomorrow is a new day.

Here's the story...

Anna is selling major saver cards for a school fundraiser. Last weekend she and I went to two neighbor houses and they bought cards but I did most of the talking. I was telling her she should do the talking since it is her fundraiser but she said she was really nervous.

Yesterday she got up the courage to try another neighbor all by herself. I watched her from the window run next door. She came back tears welled in her eyes. Jean didn't buy one. Anna was devastated. I felt like I witnessed a moment she'll remember forever. You know the ones where you always remember how you felt at that moment.

She has been asking me to come eat lunch with her at school. I guess a lot of stay at home parents do this and the kid and parent can sit at a different table and the parent can bring a cooler lunch. So today I didn't have any meetings and I said I would come. I was just a few minutes late getting there and couldn't find her.

She was sitting in the "safe spot" which is basically a nicer way of saying timeout. I walked over and she immediately started crying. We went to the parent-kid table and she said she was in there because she was talking when the red cup was up. WTF I am thinking. I quickly learned there is a stick at each table with two cups on it. If the black one is up you can talk. If the red one is up you cannot.

I got her calmed down and we ate. A teacher came over while we were eating and said he needed to talk to Anna about being in the safe spot. He said she shouldn't talk to his class when the red cup is up and could she work on that. She nodded and again I thought she would have a complete meltdown.

There was also this guy who looked like a janitor but seemed to be running the lunch room. He was barking orders at all the kids "silverware in here" "puts your tops on" (lids on milk containers) "be quiet" "turn around" "young man you are too loud" no pleases or smiles or happiness in the air at all.

I was a little scared and intimidated and wasn't sure if I could talk and what happens if I don't do something in the right order. It seemed like a miserable sad lunch. When the kids got slightly loud he went down the line and put red cups on all the sticks and made them all be quiet. Anna said he is kind of "mean" and I thought that was an understatement. No one else seemed phased by this and there were a few other parents there. Even the principal came in for awhile and didn't say anything.

I thought it was awful.

Is it like this every day? I asked her. And she nodded.

So tonight after bath she just started crying and I told her just cry it out. She doesn't want to go to school because I guess this teacher who put her in the safe spot sits at the table next to her every day. She said she will be the quietest kid at lunch tomorrow. I feel so bad for her. She just wants to talk to her friends. They can't talk in class so for god's sake let them chat at lunch. It's one of the only times they see kids from other classes. I mean you expect a five year old to not talk all day and only at recess?

So tomorrow is a new day I told her. She asked me to make her a lunch. Now I know why she says the best part of her day is reading the note I write in her lunch box.

Just what the dr ordered

I night out all dolled up with lots of free alcohol. We went to Red Ball at the Sprint Center on Friday night. It's a benefit for the American Red Cross. Then we headed across the street to Raglan Road where there was an eighties band complete with mullets playing madonna.


left to right: me, coworkers Andrea and Lauren, Emily (coworker Kevin's girlfriend), coworker Julie






The night ended with a trip through the Taco Bell drive thru where we learned they were out of beans and it would take 20 minutes to make more. Really? 1. How does Taco Bell run out of beans and 2. Why does it take 20 minutes to heat them up? They must come frozen or something. We had a good laugh because Kevin had ordered a bean burrito and when forced to change is order he froze.

I had actually eaten chicken fingers at the bar before we left so I wasn't really hungry. Then Taco Hell. The next morning Kevin and I went to IHOP and I had a ham and cheese sandwich, then I ate some leftover pizza late in the afternoon and laid down for a nap.

Needless to say when we woke up my stomach did not feel right. Lots of tums.

I spent yesterday all day with the kids at Paradise Park and that felt good to spend some time with them.

Today I took a five mile run with Tassie outside. That felt really good too.

And I haven't opened my work email all weekend. It's going to suck tomorrow but it has helped clear my mind.

Mini meltdown

I had a mini meltdown today. My team has been working really hard, myself included, and we've only had complaints this week. It's very unmotivating. unrewarding. worked 50+ hours each of the last two weeks and i'd ideally work 32 hours a week. nothing like an extra 20 hours a week with a few mean remarks to make you want to go to work. makes you think you have your priorities out of whack. that i should just spend more time with my kids. close the laptop. if you work hard and you get negative feedback then maybe you can just work regular and get the same feedback. it doesn't seem to be benefiting me to work extra hard.

Then i got home and the toilet overflowed so much it rained in the basement and made a huge puddle. nothing like cleaning toilet water. we're still not sure if carter put something in the toilet or just flushed the handle so many times that the toilet got mad.

i ordered pizza cause i had no energy to cook. one of the pizzas they brought was wrong. i called them and made them bring the right one.

i'm sort of wallowing in self misery. after two vodka red bulls and trying on every dress in the house to find one to wear tomorrow to red ball i feel a little better.

i'm contemplating wearing a red dress i wore as a bridesmaid in one of my bff's weddings nine years ago. i can't decide if that's cool i can still wear that dress or wrong that i'm seriously considering it.

We are getting an ice storm

It started icing yesterday and we're expected to get five more inches of ice/sleet/snow today.

It has snowed every day for quite awhile.

I am so over winter. and seriously if I was not married I would move somewhere warmer. seriously. up and go. I hate this stuff so much. It isn't good for anything.

When I retire I will have a winter house that is somewhere warm.

We booked a trip to Vegas but it can't come soon enough.

So another day cooped up in the house. I am glad I went to the grocery store yesterday instead of my usual Sunday because everything is a sheet of ice. We are going to get wind today so all of the trees will probably start breaking.

We had to have the heating people come again yesterday because the furnace wasn't working again. Some board is tripping the breakers on the furnace continually now. They made a temporary switch and will have to come later to fix it.

Trip to the Dentist

I took both kids to the dentist today. Anna received her second clean report in a row! Hooray! She did awesome. She even got to push the buttons to move the chair up and down and back and all over again.

Carter, however... Did not want anything to do with anyone. He hid behind me and refused to sit in the chair. They gave him a toy because he had given up his binky since his last visit. He played with some stuffed dinosaurs. He watched Anna in the room next to him. But he would not sit in that chair.

When it finally came down to it (after 30 minutes of warming up) he cried as hard as he could and yelled while I held him in my lap and laid him back so his head was in the dentist's lap and she brushed his teeth with a normal toothbrush and painted flouride on. He has a cavity in the back most molar on the left. After his second experience with such a tantrum (he threw his popsicle on the floor and spit all over my shirt afterwards to get the flouride out. I was so proud) the dentist looked and me and said I have two options: we can do sedation or we can try the gas. I think she and I were on the same page: sedation.

It will basically take up an entire day for me because I will want to get it scheduled in the morning if possible since he can't eat or drink before. Then it takes awhile to prep (hopefully he will drink the sedation but if not - and I'm guessing not - he will get a nasal spray). Then there is a 70% chance it will have a good effect and they will do the filling and also take x-rays. Then he has to be in recovery and then there are supposed to be two adults so one of us can help him in the car and the other can drive. I was told he would be very loopy and I immediately thought of that youtube video of that kid high after dental work.

Each dentist in the group only does these sedation treatments one day a month because it requires a nurse from Children's Mercy to help administer the sedation adn monitoring. So it won't be until May probably.

Sedation is not covered by insurance. And you have to pay for everything when you SCHEDULE the appointment, not when you go and have it done. Good times.

Another first for me...

So a few weeks ago I had my first experience of leaving a full cart of groceries to take a screaming child home.

This week I took Anna to Target on Wednesday night to buy Valentine's for her party on Thursday. We got there and she said she wanted to ride in a cart because she didn't feel well. I actually tried to talk her out of it because I thought we could just get one of the baskets you carry. But we got a cart and we got the Valentines plus a gift for a birthday party on Saturday and a card for that. She complained her stomach hurt and I just thought she probably had to poop.

I had just checked out and paid for the Valentines and was digging for my keys near the cart-park area and looked down to see her laying in the cart covered in puke.

Uh. Oh. Gross. What to do. What to do.

I pushed the cart into the bathroom which for the first time I was thankful are at the front of the store and took her out and did some damage control. I took the stuff we bought out of one of the plastic Target bags and was thankful I hadn't brought a reusable bag on this trip. I put her puke covered coat in the plastic bag and tried to wipe it out of her hair and off her face and pants and shoes. It got on my coat. Yuck yuck yuck.

We left and I grabbed another plastic bag on the way out of the store. She threw up more in the car on the way home and I was so thankful she could get it in the bag and not ruin my new car although I was thinking that the environmental package treatment to the seats was about to be tested to its limit.

I had called Kevin on the way home and he had covered her bed and floor in towels (a lesson we have learned over the years to avoid washing so many sheets and trying to get puke out of carpet). She was really sick until about midnight. So that's the first time I've had a child throw up in a public place.

She got up the next day and was fine. Ate three meals. Went back to school on Friday. But we didn't get to use those Valentines we bought.

Carter was also sick and stayed home Thursday and Friday. But he has something different. He had a fever with cough. It reached 103.2 on Thursday night so I worked from home on Friday.

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I have not been doing well at running during the week. But I have been running on Saturday mornings. Candi has joined me so that is helping to force me to go. We have made a new commitment to run twice together during the week. I'm ready for it to get a little warmer and daylight sooner.

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Historically work is slowest in February but that couldn't be farther from the truth right now. Not to mention I'm covering for Andrea whose on vacation in Hawaii and Jeff who is on vacation next week too. So I have a few extra meetings on my already insane calendar.

Four of my new hires have started and one more starts tomorrow. I'm actually thinking I need one or two more if February's schedule is going to continue and it just might cause I think we've signed three more accounts. Crazy! I'm too busy doing too many other jobs to do my actual job. Working too much overtime. Ready for a vacation!

Let's go to Vegas! Ok. And so we are planning it. Ching ching ching ching ching ching ching.